[ 520 words | 4 min read ]
This is part one of another of my spring-time breakup stories. Only this time, it’s in the non-fiction category. Skip to paragraph five for the moral of the story, but let me just tell you, there’s no fun in that!
It hurts, it fucking hurts so bad. I’m not even going to try and be creative here. I’m not going to try to be like those heartbroken authors who can churn up beautiful immortal novels from their heartbreaks. I’m just going to rant about how badly it hurts to go back to being alone. I’m just going to rant about how bad it feels when you are told that you are a miniscule part of someone’s life.
Yes, apparently, I had always been a temporary thing, a tryst if you want to be all fancy and shit. And maybe Taylor Swift would call it a clandestine affair in her ever-vintage lyrics. But no, I call it a cosmic scheme. A terrible nightmare dressed like a daydream. Yeah yeah, I know, it’s too much Taylor Swift reference for a single blog post. I’m going to stop with that now.
Should I blame myself in all that has transpired in the last few days? People will scream at me that it is a terrible idea. I shouldn’t be pushing myself that hard. Should I blame the opposite side then, who only ever considered me a miniscule part of their lives. And then had the audacity to send me motivational speech videos from youtube to help cope with the separation? That lady got some balls there. Hmm, tempting, but no, I won’t do that either. Because what purpose will that serve, right?
So what shall I do about this bloody mess that is me at the moment? At least this time, the stab had been from the front. I guess I got lucky and not ended up like many out there, who didn’t even know that they were going to be stabbed through the heart. At least I saw it coming. Anyways, back to the question at hand, what should I do with this bloody mess that I am at the moment.
I guess I am going to go and study the five stages of grief. At least that way I might have a better understanding of what to expect in the coming days. No, not days, weeks! Or . . . maybe even, months?? It might also help me cope with it all a little better. And maybe definitely even better than the motivational video I’ve been sent over whatsapp. That surely was a dick move to do. Stab someone and offer a band-aid to ease the bleeding. Great job, princess!!
Okay, that’s enough for today!
Being angry about it is only going to make me less productive. There’s stuff to be done, and I am going to work on those things first. And yeah, I think I am going to be doing a follow up soon enough for this. So stay tuned for another part of this spring-time breakup story folks, this is going to be fun!!
See you all soon!